* DISCLAIMER: ITS FREAKING LONG SO DONT READ IT IF YOU HAVE NO TIME (: *
I really don't know how to express my feelings sometimes, and I hate it because I land myself into misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings that are so vague and most importantly - awkward.
Its so vague - a feeling so hard to express because I don't know what / how to react (?)
Its just as if I am a complete idiot to not tell anyone anything that irks me straightforwardly. (well the exception of the cg)
Being too straightforward isn't good. But not using straightforwardness in situations that calls for desperate measures is equally wrong.
Wrong timing Chloe, wrong timing.
During camp, God's word didn't thundered upon me strong enough.
But God chose to remind me of the simplest things instead - to have a childlike faith.
I've grown up in an environment where its hard to believe, hard to trust.
During Christmas, even if it was just special service it really touched my heart to see how much people need Jesus.
My heart flustered when I was calling Weiling to see if anyone came for special service.
I was disappointed - because there wasnt any visitors. But I was super disappointed with myself.
I felt so (insert feeling here) because there wasnt anyone. The feeling was so inexplicable..
But even if I didnt gave my best for the unit, I really did gave my all for STC.
I've never felt so inspired to do so much.
I want to do so much more.
The year is coming to an end, I have my ups and my downs but I guess this year was pretty much of a change.
I realise things that I didn't expected from the real world out there, I had a maturer mindset towards things and pride etc ..
For the upcoming year, I would very much want to challenge the year ahead.
I wouldn't grow without challenges in my life, no matter how much I'm growing through - I need it.
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2009 RESOLUTIONS:
x God to challenge my year so I can grow.
x Become a CL by June for God's glory.
x A pure and simple heart - basically Childlike Faith.
x God to let me live with no regrets because I've done my best.